Today: A Long-Overdue Word for the Masses.

Hello, Five Readers of Just Bring the Drama,
I know you've been concerned, asking questions as to where your latest celebrity gossip can be found. I know you've been worried, I got your e-mails. Actually, no, I didn't. No one sent any. But the point is, I'm sure you are wondering why I've stopped updating in the past few weeks or so. I don't know why it took me song long to type up an explanation, but I guess the whopping two people who were nagging me for updates finally got to me.
I guess you could consider JBTD on hiatus for the time being, since its just about finals time and my head is ready to explode. As a college student, this was really just a fun side project for me. I spend a couple hours finding the best gossip for each day, write something witty about it, and then go do my real schoolwork. Thing is, I was spending more time doing research for the site than I was for research papers. This is bad, because I am not getting paid for this site, and college is supposed to propel me towards something where I will get paid. Hence, I put JBTD on the back-burner for a while, and it felt kind of good. I think the idea of updating this site five days a week was getting to be a bit of a burden, and it felt nice to just relax and not worry about having a deadline.
It is entirely possible that after school is over in a few weeks I will resume updates. However, I'll probably be working thirty-eight hour work-weeks at that point, so I can't promise too much. But don't worry, dear reader(s?) I will return someday.
-Candice

Today: Yes, This Was The Best I Could Do.

-A glimpse into the future for Britney Spears- she goes to Baskin-Robbins and doesn't have enough money. Only in the future, there won't be any paparazzi standing outside to loan her ten bucks.
-Paris has found her new sidekick- Kimberly Stewart. And I'll continue to not watch.
-"The Wedding Singer" is being transformed into a Broadway musical. I can't even make a joke about that, I'm just too horrified.
-Why, as a matter of fact, I would like to see Fred Durst with his own talk show! I'm so glad you asked.
-If Britney Spears can't get work now, how does she expect to find any three months after she gives birth to her Federline spawn?

Today: Is It Friday Yet?

-Nicole Richie leaves 'The Simple Life', probably to go work on that fabulous album of hers. Or maybe she quit because she forgot how to eat. In the meantime, the Hilton Heiress will need another buddy to play dumb with. Hey Lindsay, are you busy?
-Kim Cattrall goes from drinking Bacardi with random men to selling it.
-I think the whole world is just trying to copy Zoolander. Read how life imitates art, and Lindsay Lohan and Wilmer Valderrama have a dance off. Yes, I did say dance off.
-Speaking of Lindsay and ridiculous ideas, she's being looked at as a prospective for Clueless on stage. Like, gag me.
-If you want to find out about other shows that aren't Veronica Mars and if they'll be back to keep you from doing your homework next semester, take a look here.
-The funniest part is that this conversation has probably already occurred.

Today: If A Celebrity Gets Arrested and No One Cares, Did It Really Happen?

-Memo for Orlando Bloom: I'm not sure that Brad Pitt is the right person to be asking about relationship problems. I hear he broke up with his wife a while ago, or something.
-Joan Rivers calls Brigette Nielsen a cunt. And I'm reporting it. So I guess I can't really make any jokes about reaching for attention or anything.
-Beyonce "Hot Pants are So in Right Now" Knowles and her mother are jumping on the celebrity-clothing line bandwagon. I'd make a joke about finding gold hot pants all over Macy's come the fall, but it was kind of obvious I was going to go there, wasn't it?
-Best Week Ever finds good, even amongst all the horror.
-Maybe this is why Katie Holmes broke up with Chris Klien.Even though it happened a month ago, and no one noticed. Except maybe Katie, of course. Now you'll probably be able to find him in AA.
-Because its a slow news day, here's Whitney looking homeless.
-All the crazy in Lindsay Lohan's family is finally getting to her...she's been stalking that weirdo ex of hers, Wilmer Valderrama.
-Another less than good review of Ashlee Simpson and her "performance" skills.

Today: The First Sign of the Apocalypse, Y'all!

-It looks like Britney Spears has been hospitalized for "pregnancy complications", which I take to mean "Cheeto Overdose". Wait, stop the presses, y'all! She's announced on her official site that there really is a Federline Fetus in her belly. Is anyone else a bit nauseous?
Oh, stereogum has rendered photos of the possible Federline Fetus for your enjoyment.
-Mel Gibson yet another part of his slowly diminishing soul to take on an epic about the life of the Pope. You know the one.
-Mary-Kate and Ashley are looking to take over your household. First, you were tuned into your Full House/So Little Time/That Other Show They Did. Next, you popped in their straight-to-video DVDs. You plastered your walls with their pictures, your dressertops with their make-up, and your closets with their fashionable clothing line. But something was missing. So now, all you need is to throw out your furniture and replace it with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen brand furniture. Oh, and don't forget to buy one of their rugs, otherwise you're like totally not a true fan.
-Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Paris Hilton is designing jewelry for dogs. Because dogs are all about slut couture.

PS. Only five more episodes of Veronica Mars left until we discover who killed Lilly Kane. Did I mention this show got renewed? Yeah, go watch it.

Today: How Did Sahara Make Eighteen Million Dollars?

-Britney Spears hates "false" tabloids, but she has no problem talking to a fourth-grader for her school newspaper.
-Yet another Dunst/Gyllenhaal fake out. When will these crazy kids learn that after you keep crying wolf so many times, people will eventually stop caring?
-Once you've been in the public eye long enough, deserved or not (I'm looking at YOU, Ashlee), you would think that an understanding of how not to show off your underwear would be reached.
-The Monday Numbers:
1. Sahara $18.5M total: $18.5M
2. Sin City $14.1M total: $50.7M
3. Fever Pitch $13M total: $13M
4. Guess Who $7.1M total: $51.1M
5. Beauty Shop $7.1M total: $26.4M
6. Robots $4.65M total: $111M
7. Miss Congeniality 2: You Know The Rest $4.12M total: $37.5M
8. The Pacifier $3.03M total: $100M
9. The Ring Two $2.9M total: $72.3M
10. The Upside of Anger $2.6M total: $12.4M
Where did Ice Princess go?
Note to Jimmy Fallon: Stop, right where you are. No, I don't care if you were sleeping. You get out of bed, you call Lorne Michaels, and you tell him you're sorry. Very, very sorry, and could you please tell Tina Fey the same thing? I think they'd appreciate it.
-Have I mentioned that Veronica Mars got renewed? Yes, about a thousand times? Well, I just need to revel in the news again.
-Do you want to rock and roll all night, and watch bad reality television all day? Well Gene Simmons is taking that idea all the way to the bank (and VH1).
-We all know how Ashlee Simpson has a problem with lip synching, but apparently she doesn't have a problem being airbrushed on the cover of Portuguese Cosmo.
-The conspiracy about Britney's interview with a fourth-grader gets cracked wide open. I knew it was just too good to be true.

Today: Better Late Than Never.

-Christopher Guest gives up on the mockumentary genre.
-Further proof that Tim Burton is crazy
-Us Weekly's least shocking cover ever.
-Jennifer Lopez wants people to call her Jennifer Anthony, so she can get as much use out of her husbands name as possible until she divorces him.
-Meet and greet info for Veronica Mars fans. If you live in or around the Boston or NYC metro area, I expect your asses to be there in full force.
-I guess Teri Hatcher has a lot of time on her hands. At least, enough time in between shoots to doodle all over the Vanity Fair with her and her cast-mates on the cover.
-Ashlee Simpson's backstage rider includes pickle relish. How can that possibly be good for her acid reflux? Pre-recorded drumming sequences? In case he pushes the wrong button, perhaps?
-I think the last thing that Beyonce needsa doll, to feed her ego and make her wonder why there are there dolls and not just one.
-Anna Nicole Smith is writing for the National Enquirer, because what legitimate newspaper would possibly hire her?

Blogger was down all of yesterday, hence I could not update on time. So let's just pretend this stuff is all new to you! Have a great weekend.

Today: The Real Reason Childen Go To School.

-Madonna's children are now fluent in french so they can talk about how bad their mom was in Swept Away without her knowing.
-All your questions about Britney's hop on the reality bandwagon can be answered here, UPNs official site for her show.
-Some crazed woman who thinks Colin Farrell could take enough time out of his busy schedule to stalk her has failed a lie-detector test.
-The Duff Sisters, looking to surpass the annoyance of the Simpson sisters, are set to star in the "comedy" Material Girls. Hillary's re-recording and subsequent bastardization of Madonna's "Material Girl" is reportedly what inspired the movie deal.
-It's official- Michael Bay will ruin the Transformers movie.
-Green Day billboard banned for being "distasteful". Well, maybe they are just really hardcore Dookie fans.
-Britney Spears is banned from taking care of her step-son, because it took Shar this long to realize how incompetent her baby-daddy's new girl is. However, she's still letting the crazy couple look after her two year old Kori, probably because Kori has a higher IQ than Britney and is capable of looking after herself.

Today: Everyone Has An Album These Days.

-Britney and Kevin travel to Vegas, and get separate rooms. Page Six does the snarking for me: "An emergency meeting was called, but only because Britney was afraid her dog, Bit Bit, was pregnant by [brother] Brian's dog, Porkchop — and that would be incest. For the record, Bit Bit is a chihuahua and Porkchop is a bulldog. "
-Shannen Elizabeth is shacking up with some other man merely a month after announcing her divorce from Beefcake Reitman. By the way. have you seen her nails? Ew.
-I didn't know Lisa Marie had a new album out, and I also didn't know she's decided to become Drew Barrymore.
-Via stereogum, Art Makes Britney Thirsty.
-I don't normally care about Coldplay, but stereogum's readers attempt to decipher the latest album cover, with hilarious results.
-There's a new Bond in town, and his name is...Dnaiel Craig?
-The cover of Kelly Osbourne's latest CD has her contemplating the deeper meanings in life, like how much it will cost her to biggie size the number four meal at Wendy's.

Today: Let's Get Hitched In Vegas!

-First Bruce Willis, now Christian Slater? Miss Lohan sure does have a Daddy Complex, doesn't she?
-Britney Spears signs a deal with UPN for a reality show based on her adorable marriage to Kevin Federline. She's hoping to "contradict the tabloid media's misguided portrayal of her private life". Yeah, those tabloids are wack, Britney. They don't show you eating Cheetos and Red Bull nearly as often as you actually do.
-I refuse to acknowledge that there is a new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory poster up, because this movie fills me with a burning hate too intense to describe. Besides, Johnny Depp looks like Anna fucking Wintour.
-The Other Olsen, aka Ashley, decided she needed to get a dog also.
-Despite what some other sites may have to say, I'm excited about Lords of Dogtown. Hopefully it can capture at least a portion of the awesome that Dogtown and the Z-Boys did.
-ABC News' Peter Jennings lets us in on a little secret- he's got lung cancer. But he's determined to keep broadcasting through treatment.
-Mary-Kate Olsen is spotted with yet another man who is supposedly her boyfriend and is almost old enough to be her father. I wonder what they talk about over dinner.
-Watch the tv spot for the movie that is sure to garner Paris Hilton an Oscar nom, House of Wax.
-Attempting to brush the last bits of Tom Cruise off her shoulders, Penelope Cruz may or may not be getting married to her boyfriend Matthew McConaughey.
-Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal are reportedly getting married (to each other!) so they can have little fugly babies.

It's Tuesday, so its time for an Obligatory Veronica Mars Reminder. Only six epsisodes left!

Today: The Future Is Full of Bad Movie Prospects.

-Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Woody Allen was on 'Cribs'? I haven't, but apparently Gawker has.
-The Monday Numbers:
1. Sin City $28.1M total: $28.1M
2. Beauty Shop $13.5M total: $13.5M
3. Guess Who $13M total: $41.3M
4. Robots $10M total: $105M
5. Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous $8.39M total: $31.4M
6. The Pacifier $6.06M total: $96.4M
7. The Ring Two $5.8M total: $68.1M
8. The Upside of Anger $4.12M total: $8.7M
9. Hitch $3M total: $171M
10. Ice Princess $2.55M total: $18.6M
I am devastated by these numbers. How did Ice Princess end up at number ten?
-I was quietly minding my own business yesterday, eating my lunch, when lo and behold, I stumbled across Michael Douglas looking like a zombie corpse after a supposed face left. Perhaps he just has a starring role in George Romero's new film? In any case, I would recommend staying away from food for at least half an hour after viewing this picture.
-Oh Scientology. If you ever figure out your stance on homosexuality, let us know, okay?
-When the world stops caring about your sister's sex scandals and her phone hacking, the only thing left to do is launch a hideous clothing line.
-Last week was pretty rough. The Pope and Mitch Hedberg died, and Neil Young was hospitalized for a brain aneurysm. Luckily we weren't three for three, and Neil Young is recovering just fine.
-Jason Mewes will finally be able to out-act someone when he stars with Paris Hilton in a new movie.
-The Michael Jackson Candlelight Vigil: because some people don't have jobs...Or a life.
-Pretty In Pink 2: John Hughes Needs Money Boogaloo.

Today: Back In Black.

-George Clooney raises his cool factor exponentially by announcing April Fool's Day is for amateurs, and subsequently striking fear in the hearts of every single Hollywood friend he has.
-Sin City opens today. Frank Miller fans, prepare to cream your nerdy little shorts, because it seems to be getting stellar reviews all around.
-PETA's new ad featuring the Star Jones look-alike (drag queen), Flotilla DeBarge.
-Brad Pitt gives up his Hollywood mansion, after hearing his soon to be ex wanted to keep it. Don't worry, Brad. I'm sure about six million women in this country would be glad to put you up for however long you need.
-Another unnecessary remake: Casablanca. Starring...Paris Hilton? Sigh.
-Everyone is worried about health these days, even Cookie Monster.
-I'm sure if you have looked at a website at all today, you've seen reports of the Pope in critical condition, perhaps even reading he's dead. It's not looking good for him, unfortunately. I'm not Catholic or religious, but I've gotta give my prayers to a guy with a picture like this.
-Britney Spears is desperate, but apparently not desperate enough. Britney's been begging for a cameo role on Desperate Housewives, but the producers have turned her down.
-Notorious B.I.G could be on the B.I.G. screen by you in the near future.
-For those of you who don't know, Mitch Hedberg was a comedian who did your typical stoner schtick. As in, one joke about yogurt would last about twenty minutes because of all the pauses. I was, in fact, just discussing him the very night before I heard he passed away. I can't say he was my favorite comic, but I do regret missing his show at my school mere months ago. He was a good guy, he made me laugh when we put on his CD during work. He will be missed.
PS. He died in Jersey hotel room, which is probably the way I'd want to go.
-Well maybe if Justin Timberlake drove in New Jersey, he wouldn't have this kind of mishap. Someone else would be "filling his tank", so to speak.

No sir, the gossip keeps on rolling, even while on vacation. Florida was great, I got sunburned and never got to see Against Me!. I'll see all of you here on Monday.