Wednesday, January 05, 2005

ashlee-gate, cont'd.

so, I finally managed to get a hold of the Ashlee Simpson video from the orange bowl.
I felt the best way to express my feelings was to write a short letter to Ashlee:

Dear Ashlee "Me, Too!" Simpson,
First of all, thank you for displaying your true talent
for the nation to witness. Those of us who were on the fence
about your acid-reflux and subsequent mockery of live music performance
now have something substantial to base hatred on, if the SNL incident
was somehow not enough. I would like to know, how do you plan
to honestly continue after two hugely embarassing,
career-killing stunts like that? Do you not realize that any credibility
that you ever had (besides the role of Jessica "Tuna or Chicken?" Simpson's little sister)
has been ripped to shreds much the same way your adorable punk rawk glovins were?
Oh by the way, your stylist needs a severe kick in the head.
The fact that you were wearing an ass cape on national television is
not something I can allow to slide past my ultra-scrutinizing fashion radar.
A sincere thank you for the tremendous amount of schadenfreude,

The best part was, amidst the wave of booing,
you could clearly hear one guy yelling "you suck!".
Sir, you are a True American Hero.


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