Saturday, January 08, 2005

in this issue: Aaron Carter Nearly Dies, Pop Tart Update, And More!!

It is late, so these will be short. However, tonight is all about quality, not quantity.
Interesting bits to chew upon:

-It seems there is a new Triumvirate of Punk Rawk. Ashlee Simpson, Avril Lavigne, and now Lindsay Lohan. The fine folks at stereogum report that La Lohan's latest video, "Over" is plastered with posters of L7, the Dead Kennedys, and CBGB. I'm sure Avril is jealous.
-For those of you who still care about the Olsen Twins, they've annouced a line of fragrances (two, because OMG there are two of them!!!!11) Coast to Coast NY, and Coast to Coast LA, to represent their "dual lifestyle". One supposedly smells citrus-y, and the other is tropical. But I forget which is which. How appropriate!
-God clearly has today off: Aaron Carter is still alive, after an accident involing his SUV flipping over and catching on fire. I mean, that's what Escalades are for, right?
-As par for the course, I report the obligitory Celebrity One-Uppage re: Tsunami Victims. Actress Jane Kaczmarek (of Malcolm in the Middle fame) plans to auction off celebrity clothes from the Golden Globe awards, with the proceeds going to the tsunami victims.
-Daily Pop Tart Update: Jessica Simpson is suing a California jeweler over unauthorized use of her likeness. I'm sure no one was able to tell the fake Jessica from the real one anyhow. No harm done.
-Did someone say crack whore? No, it's just Courtney Love. My bad. She is reportedly looking to sell her NY apartment in order to get her life back together and regain custody of her daughter, Francis Bean.
-Skank Wars : Purfume Style. It has been reported that Britney Spears' fragrance "Curious" has outsold Paris Hilton's cleverly titled "Paris" scent by a great margin. And so, the war over smelling like Cheeto dust and Red Bull versus cocaine and manjuice has a clear winner. Hurrah for Cheeto Dust!!
-Premature Enuptialization: Rumor had it that Cameron "That Movie Paparazzi Was All About Me" Diaz and Justin "Cry Me A River" Timberlake were engaged. Turns out they were bored and prank calling E!NewsDaily for kicks or something.
-In other marriage news, the world is ending because Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are officially discussing their separation in public. The rumors have been a'flyin' for quite some time now, and it seems that the pressure has finally gotten to America's Favorite Couple (TM) so ladies, start your engines.
-In less interesting celebrity makeup/breakup news, Snoop Double Dizzle is looking to get back with his wife. The high school sweethearts had been separated for seven months. Although it seems if Snoop cannot vow to stay away from pot, he probably can't stay away from his wife of seven years either. I will keep you posted.
-It took long enough.Online Petition to Ban Ashlee Simpson from Public Broadcast & Print. Too bad those damn things never help.
- This should be filed under "Would Have Been Interesting Eight Years Ago": HANSON: THE MOVIE!!!
-PS. Catwoman finalizes divorce with whoever it was she was married to.

did I say short?? Oh well.

A VERY IMPORTANT PS- golden fiddlecollapsed on the set of goldenfiddle.com, suffering from "dehydration and exhaustion; a condition only worsened by what internet experts have called a "totally ridiculous server load," and not at all related to an excessive clubbing habit on goldenfiddle's part. (Acid reflux has not been ruled out.)" Our thoughts and prayers are with golden fiddle.

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