Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Today: The Golden Globe Aftermath, A Pitt Split Update, & A Shit Ton About Britney

Apparently, Defamer and I had the same idea. Sit down and recap the Golden Globes, live, as they happen !!! Sadly, that did not turn out so well. The ceremony was boring and predictable, so much so that I broke my rule of only surfing the internets during commercial breaks (which followed every single award given) to actually check my e-mail while people made their speeches. And I quote Defamer: "Even Jim Carrey, a man who spent the better part of the 90's speaking through his anus, could offer nothing more than some half-hearted, pidgin Italian when he introduced the head of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Whither the ass-ventriloquism? Not here." Agreed. Note to the Hollywood Foreign Press: perhaps look into getting Carrot Top to host next year? I hear he's popular with the kids.

-Olsen Twins to Separate. Man, has 2005 been a shitty year, or what?
-For all those who thought the end of Fitness Made Simple workout videos arriving direct to your door was here, fear not. fitnessmadesimple.com has released a statement saying that everyone's favorite egg-headed exercise enthusiast, John Basedow, isn't and never was in Thailand, despite internet reports stating he'd gone missing after the tsunami. Whew.
-Sylvester Stallone Won't Give Up. Another Rambo film, which I'm sure will do wonders for his slowly sinking career. Cop Land, anyone?
-Springer to host radio talk show, which surprisingly features left leaning political news & discussion, rather than crack whores sleeping with their mothers and dogs. UPGRADE.
-Mischa Barton whines about being beautiful. She said in an interview with Britain's Cosmopolitan magazine: "It kind of irritates me that I'm seen as this pretty face. People also say I'm too thin. The truth is, pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas. It's like, 'She's pretty and thin, so she's got to have problems. She must be anorexic or depressed or bitchy." And somehow, I can see her point. God this love of the OC will be my downfall.
-People, please shut the fuck up about Jennifer Garner. [bitching courtesy of ONTD ] This bloggers opinion: she looks like a duck. The end.
-You know your love life is in the shitter when you're taking dating advice from Jamie-Lynn Spears, America's Favorite Younger Sister. Pretty Soon, Your BFF Could Turn Into A True BF! LIEK OMG.
-Speaking of the Spears', OMG-FM: Britney plans to work as a producer for a daily talk show, as a form of on the job training. She is looking to get her own radio talk show, y'all! *gumsnap*
-Superthin Supermodel Kate Moss is reportedly seeing former Libertines member Pete Doherty. Let us all remember that Pete was kicked out of the band for his numerous drug addictions. Good choice, Kate!
-Vincent Gallo: Douchebag About Hollywood Vincent Gallo calls Kirsten Dunst "a cold, curt nasty little witch of a brat on the phone" after she backed out of Brown Bunny. I think Gallo's just jealous that she had the idea to do that first. He goes on to insult other fine actors and actresses in this article, as well as famed film critic Roger Ebert. [via the post.]
-Mary J. Blige is being sued by Madonna's publishers, saying that Blige's Barbershop 2 song, "Not Today" is a ripoff of Madonna's 1983 hit "Holiday". And if I were residing over this case, I'd sue them both.
-Speaking of Madonna (or Esther, or whatever it is she goes by these days), she has asked Britney to star in the animated adaptation of Madonna's childrens book, 'The English Roses'. She'll be voicing the heroine Binah, who I guess is a Hindu god or something. Madonna has also managed to convince David Bowie and Snoop Dogg that even though shes married to Guy Ritchie,, she can put together a crap movie ALL ON HER OWN.
-The Monday Numbers [via imdb]
1.Coach Carter $23.6M total: 23.6M
2.Meet the Fockers $19M total: $231M
3.Racing Stripes $14M total: $14M
4.In Good Company $13.9M total: $14.4M
5.Elektra $12.5M total: $12.5M
6.White Noise $12.2M total: $41.2M
7.The Aviator $4.78M toal: $50M
8.Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events $3.96M total: $111M
9.The Phantom of the Opera $3.55M total: $26.4M
10.Ocean's Twelve $2.9M total: $120M
-the Tsunami fundraising "Concert of Hope" failed to draw numbers. It only averaged 5.7 million views on NBC. Comparatively, the "America: A Tribute to Heroes" 9/11 telethon averaged 59.3 million viewers. I guess most of America was too busy going to see Meet the Fockers.
-Speaking of tragedies, the fact that there was no prenuptial agreement means the Pitt Split will be filled with 50% more bitter arguments! Meanwhile, Aniston has moved in with her hairdresser, Chris McMillian. So now she has someone to stay up late with and watch Queer As Folk marathons and eat Ben & Jerrys.


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