Today: An Update before Nine PM!

My schedule is all off this week. But, as always, news first, bitching later.

-Lindsay Lohan starts Mardi Gras early? While her publicist denies reports of her being there, a picture, [courtesy of gawker, courtesy of college humor] says otherwise.
UPDATE: apparently La Lohan is in NOLA to film a new movie, "Just My Luck". And we all know what happens down there...apparently, lots of "cranberry juce and vodka soda." I hope they have a really good Lohan-lookalike. [bonus photo essay courtesy of defamer]
-Bigger than the Tsunami: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen not eating?? Now there's a cause worth starting a telethon for.
-Milkbones Are The New Cheetos : aka WTF Jessica Alba? [golden fiddle, second entry.]
-Speaking of golden fiddle, we both agree: Pitckfork's new look- total downgrade.
-Want the TRUTH? Jennifer Aniston's myspace blog gives us THE TRUTH.
-VH1 plans to annouce they've bound and gagged Cameron "Downward Spiral" Diaz and forced her to agree to a reality show. Good luck finding details just yet.
-Love regains custody of Bean. I have no idea what she slipped the judges, but it obviously worked. Future headline: Francis Bean Runs Away From Home.
-Hey Pitckfork, are you looking for Celebrity Music Critic? Well, Jennifer Garner is your woman !!!!!!! Check out her iTunes Celebrity Playlist, via stereogum. Apparently, a lot of songs "really get her going". Affleck, are you listening? Keep these songs in mind if you want to get any. Especially that John Mayer one.
-Britney's 'Do Something' video. I cannot tell you how much it pains me not to be able to open and watch this file. Damn you, Quicktime!