Monday, January 31, 2005

Today: Elektra Lost Game of Hide & Seek

- Cletus Federline to get a "metrosexual" makeover for a magazine we will never see. Hey, if BitBit can't get on the cover, at least one Spears-Federline can, right?
- Tara Reid is so desperate (third item) to find a man she calls on Ellen DeGeneres, completely overlooking how totally awkward that is.
-The Monday Numbers:
1. Hide and Seek $22M total: $22M
2. Are We There Yet? $17M total: $39.1M
3. Million Dollar Baby $11.8M total: $21.1M
4. Coach Carter $8M total: $53.6M
5. Meet the Fockers $7.6M total: $258M
6. The Aviator $7.51M total: $68.2M
7. Sideways $6.33M total: $40M
8. In Good Company $6.2M total: 35.9M
9. Racing Stripes $6.05M total: $34.6M
10. Assault on Precinct 13 $4.24M total: 14.7M
Oh, oh Dear. What in the world happened to Elektra? Poor thing only made about $1.5M this weekend. It dropped all the way to number 16! I'd feel bad except, you konw, that should've happened opening weekend. However, Meet the Fockers still managed to make it into the top five. I won't be happy until I never have to mention that movie again.
- Ben Stiller is neurotic. It's okay Ben, you're a Jew. All of us are like that.
- Portia De Rossi wastes no time...after only two months, she went out and bought Ellen DeGeneres a wedding ring. Unfortunately, the state of California won't recognize their marriage. Let's just hope they don't decide to get each other's initials tattooed on their asses instead, eh?
- Lara Flynn Boyle gives a free show to the passengers of a 10 hour flight from LA to London. She mounted a passenger and attempted to get him to put on his clothes (she, of course, was naked) Imagine waking up to THAT on a flight.
- Paris Hilton: Binge Drinker? Maybe she's just upset because her valentines to Nick Carter have been posted all over the internet. (eighth item)
- Leonardo DiCaprio receives a lifetime achievement award for being really really ridiculously good-looking. Or maybe it was for acting, I don't really remember.
- Michael Jackon fans horde outside Courthouse, presumably hoping to jam their way in as a jury member because OMG HE'S LIEK TOTALLY INNOCENT.
- Irony Cackles; Hillary Clinton Collapses while giving speech on health care.
- Too Dirty For Britney Must Mean It's Really Fucking Dirty. Apparently, dog shit on the floor of Britney's house doesn't bother her, but a dirty Chevon gas station bathroom is way too UGH. (sixth item)
- Red Hot Chili Peppers' Flea manages to find a girl who doesn't mind that he's batshit crazy. Until she realizes that marriage means she can't sleep with other men.
- Chris Rock has moved on to hosting the Oscarsfrom the MTV Awards because he says he is "too old" also, "they don't even PLAY music anymore. What the fuck is up with that?"
-Cletu-Kevin Federline, Actually Carrying Britney's Baby?


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