Thursday, March 03, 2005

Today: This Was Really Rushed.

-Well, it looks like Charlie Sheen's life is headed straight for the crapper. Wife Denise Richards is filing for divorce, despite the fact that she's pregnant with another Charlie Sheen Jr.
-Behold, the most disturbing allegation in the Michael Jackson trial yet! No, its not more cancer-ridden children accusing him of touching them, its a monkey.
-Mary-Kate Olsen : steadly working towards being at least 90 lbs. She's so good, she's going to DUAL COAST outpatient care!
-Martha Stewart gets released from prison tomorrow (Finally!) and the big question on everyone's mind is: what is she going to make first, homemade easter egg dye or fresh baked cookies with pine nuts?
-Lindsay Lohan is really not fooling anyone, is she? She is trying to convince us that she's only smoked pot ONCE, and she didn't like it. (Honey, you've got to inhale. No one likes it the first time.) And that she would never do cocaine because it "fucks your life up". So she's expecting us to assume she lost all that weight in two weeks naturally?
-In more breakup news, Katie Holmes and Chris Klein split. We understand, guys. It's been an overwhelming few months, what with the Pitt Spilt, the Sheen/Richards split and all. I mean if Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards can't make it work, then who can?

I know I missed probably a boatload of delicious, juicy gossip, but I have a huge archaeology project due tomorrow.
Such is college. I'll (try and) be back tomorrow in full force!


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