Today: A Brand New Low.

-Fox Network, the kings of sinking to a new low, present celebrities without makeup.
- The Fall of the Fashion Empire: Dolce and Gabbana split. But, like, totally only romantically. We SWEAR!
- Creepy Pa Simpson is trying to explain that what he said about Jessica's boobs totally wasn't creepy. At all. No siree.
- Here is the poster for The House of Wax, the Paris Hilton vehicle that should already have an Oscar nomination.
-I'm not even sure what to say about the classy Pamela Anderson anymore, except that she should realize ironically askew trucker hats are SO OVER.
-Seriously, don't read this if you have a weak stomach. The words "Michael Jackson" and "penis" should never EVER be used in a sentence together unless you're writing a horror story.
-Digitally reducing Lindsay Lohan's breasts... Making Herbie: Reloaded safer for all of America.
-The latest theory making the rounds in the Jennifer Aniston Brad Pitt Break Up Hall of Science says that Jennifer likes to get it on with the ladies.

Not much today, as I've been in transit most of the afternoon from Hempstead NY to good old New Jersey.
Enjoy whatever it is people usually do on President's Day!