Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Today: A Galaxy Of Trouble.

-Since the Grammy preshow was down 40% from the Joan Rivers & Co. Fossil Expedition of yesteryear, the Oscars are Star Jones' last shot to close her trap, put on something that fits, and tell her husband to wait in the car while she asks what people are wearing and who they think will win. That is, if Star doesn't drool all over everyone first.
- This is the reason Russell Crowe is a pompous actor, and not an asshole eighth grade algebra teacher.
-Sidehacking Continued: Paris Speaks. It's really upsetting to her, and a total conincidence that this happened after the wake of her minimal press birthday bash and the release of her movie trailer. Yes, Paris. Why does all the bad stuff keep happening to you?
-The Beckhams clearly have a hard time staying out of the headlines. A few days ago, they had their third son, Cruz. Now they're reportedly launching their own line of fragrances.
-Kelly Osbourne to shit herself.
-Speaking of the Osbournes, A blow-up doll & a wax figurine pose for pictures. (via spencer)
-Moby says what we were all thinking, and writes a song out of it.
-The rumors surrounding Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's 15 minute marriage swirl yet again; Jessica reportedly put their marriage on "probation".
-Again With Sidehacking: It seems that the reason Paris was hacked is because she uses Tinkerbell's name as the security feature to change her password. I wonder what word she will choose now that she's been sidehacked. Probably something like 'Hilton' or maybe 'Nicky'. She's a thinker, that Paris.
-Oh shit. Britney is going to be really jealous that Pink is pregnant before she is. Sorry, no, her boyfriend isn't Corey "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" Hart, its Carey " MotoCross is X-Treme" Hart.
-Trial of the Century Update: It's time to meet your All-Star Jury Team! They include " a woman who said her grandson was required to register as a sexual offender because of a crime; a woman who said she was related to the pilot of Flight 93, one of the planes that went down on Sept. 11; a 20-year-old man who likes "The Simpsons" TV show; and a man who is interested in Western art and country music." Wow! This is going to be great!
-God, I love the internet. What should MJ wear to court today?

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