Thursday, March 10, 2005

Today: Y'all Are Jus' Jellus!

-Why anyone would want to fight over Wilmer Valderrama is beyond me.
-Because she clearly does not get enough love from her own dad, Lindsay Lohan was caught groping it up with Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis. The bald, old one.
-Britney Spears is getting jealous of all the attention her husband is getting. Somehow, she thinks that "every girl in America wants her man". Fortunately for her, the majority of us are NOT blind, so don't worry Brit. We won't be all up ons that anytime soon.
-Today's Trial of the Century Update: Judge Melville issues an arrest warrant, Jackson gets treated for "severe back problems" and Jackson finally shows up, all ready for sleepy time in his pajamas! Don't you wish you were there?
-Angelina Jolie talks loudly about having sex with women, probably because everyone in the world has just about stopped caring whether she broke up Brad and Jennifer's marriage.
-Julia Stiles cries alone in the corner of her room because she was turned down for the role of Esther Greenwood in a film adaptation of The Bell Jar. Yeah, it was definitely a conspiracy, Julia. You were so, like, MEANT for that role! I'm sure Sylvia is rolling in her grave at the injustice of it all.
-Jennifer Lopez forgets all she knows about women's gestation periods by baring her stomach to dispel rumors that she's pregnant, except that, you know, if the pregnancy rumors only started two weeks ago, YOU WOULDN'T BE SHOWING.


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