Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Today: It's Late and I'm Tired.

-Denise Richards puts her engagement ring back on, because it's been a while since anyone cared about her and Charlie Sheen's divorce.
-Check out some pictures from the filming of The DaVinci Code, complete with a greasy, lumpy Tom Hanks. Yeah, this is going to be great.
-Chris Martin finds a way to complain about his wife while making it sound like a compliment. If only he could put that much cleverness into his songs.
-Mary-Kate Olsen practices being forty by standing around in her housecoat smoking cigarettes and dancing with her imaginary friend.
-Looks like Britney Spears is having a boy...elephant. I kid, I kid! I'm sure it's just twins. Or, there's just one Spears Spawn in her belly and he's mooching off of her even more than K.Fed is.
-Someone must be mad at Jude Law. (perhaps for appearing in Closer?) Because they're spreading small penis rumorsall around the internet. Dude, no wonder Alice AND Anna left you!
-Jessica Simpson has seen the writing on the wall, and it says "design some jeans".
-Katie Holmes: her dream, my nightmare.
-Finally. Now everyone can have a piece of Lindsay Lohan. However, the accessories don't seem very up to date. There's no bashed in Mercedes, packs of cigarettes or bags of coke! I'm going to write to Mattel about this.
-A vague threat of the next Tom Cruise debacle to come. I'm scared. Please hold me.


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