Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Today: Jesus Christ is My Superhero!

-Did you know that Avril Lavigne is recording a cover of John Lennon's "Imagine"?? (As if there were any other Imagine) To top that off, struggling famewhore Butch Walker (most notable for heading the Marvelous 3, and then shitting all over his solo career) will be producing. There are countless jokes I could make about the overturning soil on top of Lennon's grave, but we all saw that coming, didn't we?
-And as if that weren't enough Avril, rumors are floating that she and that guy with one too many y's in his name from Sum 41 are getting married. How punk rock.
-I'm not exactly sure why, but Gabe from the band Midtown decided to make a rebuttle to Gwen Stefani's opus, Hollaback Girl. Shockingly, the song is called Hollaback Boy and can be found here.
-ABC finally wakes up and realizes that by dumping the Miss America pageant and showing reruns of Desperate Housewives, they'll get way better ratings. And who took over the pageant, you ask? NBC? CBS? Fox Kids? No, but close! Country Music Television.
-Apparently, not only did Russell Crowe chuck a telephone at a Mercer Hotel concierge, he went all out and hurled a vase at him too.
-Angelina Jolie pregnant? Guys, get on the ball. This article should've been written months ago.
-Rosie O'Donnell has moved on from ripping off E.E. Cummings to ripping off my collages from 7th grade.
-As you probably know, Nike attempted to shit all over Minor Threat's infamous self-titled album cover by using it as an ad campaign for their totally punk rock shoes. Probably because they saw a picture of Ian MacKaye and someone got scared, they issued an apology. Of course, if it weren't for this clusterfuck, we wouldn't have ingenious threads like this one.
-The only thing L. Ronnie's book Dianetics seems to cure is insomnia, as a brave soul from Salon.com tackles the monster.
-Kids in the UK cite Jesus Christ as the figure they most identify with being a superhero. Uh huh. Following JC on that list were the next most obvious superheroes, David Beckham and Florence Nightingale.


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