Friday, September 16, 2005

Today: Weekly Roundup of Things You Already Know

The numbers say people are still stumbling upon this site. And the numbers don't lie, man. So I may as well give you something new to look at. If you're good I'll be back on Monday, too! And no, that isn't an empty promise.

-The Daily Mirror has ousted Kate Moss as a cocaine addict, which everyone pretty much figured already, but there were no grainy pictures to indicate. gawker posted the pictures earlier, but it looks like the Mirror's lawyers got to them already. So for those of you unfortunate enough to have missed the pictures, I'll try and recap: She's doing lines of coke. And laughing. And doing more lines of coke. Yeah, you really didn't miss much.
-Britney Spears has finally released her spawn into the world, and its name is...Preston Michael Spears. Or Sean Preston Spears, I don't even know anymore. There's no official name on her website (not like I went there to check or anything, I just hear things), so feel free to make the joke of your choice.
-What a tragedy. First, we learn that the Hollywood romance of Renee Zellweger and Cowboy Hat has dissolved. And in four months, no less! I was kind of hoping they'd last longer than the Spears-Federline travesty, hence my heartbroken tone. However, now it turns out that Ol' Squinty Face has cited fraud as the cause for annulment. But wait, before you get your panties all in a tangle, Zellweger backpedals furiously by saying that using the word fraud was"simply legal language and not a refection of Kenny's character." Yeah, sure Renee.
-For those of you comic book nerds eagerly anticipating the new Superman movie, here is some bad news to keep you crying in your room for the next week. "Romantic"? Oh Mr. Singer, I hope you know what you're getting yourself into.
-Matt Damon is engaged, and I wonder if Ben Affleck is going to show up drunk to the wedding. You know, just to spite Matt because Ben got hitched first or something.
-Lindsay Lohan has an old fashioned nip slip, which I somehow missed this week, probably every other post on defamer had to do with Britney Spears and it must've gotten lost.
-Jude Law and Sienna Miller are back together. Although by the time you're done reading this, they probably will have broken up again.
-Will Smith is turning into Samuel L. Jackson. And not in a good way.
-Chris Farley's lovechild. Yes, that Chris Farley.
-Check out this hilarious Celebrity-Way Call. Vince Vaughn's face is priceless.


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